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May 04 2015

06:16

My heart is not flawed. I'm just Aromantic.*

ice-nazi:

*Consider this my ‘coming out’.

I’ve known for many years that I don’t feel romantic love. I have good friends, but I’m not sure I’ve ever loved anybody except maybe my sister. I’m an extremely sexual person, though, so I always thought something was terribly wrong with me. How could I be having these experiences with women and not developing feelings for any of them? What kind of bastard did that make me? I cared about them, I wanted them to be happy, I respected their bodies and their feelings, but when the time came to walk away, it was only the sadness of leaving behind a friend. Nothing was tugging at my heart.

No one could understand why I wouldn’t get into relationships with them and it was so hard to tell them, “Because I will never love you. We can have sex, it will be wonderful sex, and we can have fun and go to movies, but I am incapable of loving.” No one believes you, especially because the rural area I come from hardly even understands gays and lesbians, let alone anything else on the spectrum. I had never heard of being aromantic. When I was learning English, I learned to say, “My heart is flawed,” and for many years I used that. It’s even one of my tumblr tags. But girls get insulted, they think that it’s them, or guys tell you that you just need to find ‘the right one’ and I just feel broken all the time.

But then I joined Tumblr and for the first time, heard words like ‘cis’ and 'gender fluid’ and, finally, 'aromantic’. And so I googled it and I swear, I laughed so hard I almost cried. It was the first time hearing that I wasn’t broken, that this happens to other people. And that night, I told my best friend, we had a serious conversation and I showed her the Tumblr posts and I said to her, “Look, there’s a word for me, I’m not broken.” And she hugged me and said, “No, Erich, you’re not broken.”

And this is very important to me, because I’m a feminist and a big supporter of body-positivity and I felt like huge hypotcrit every time I am posting something that says, “Love yourself” or “Just be you” because how could I be encouraging other people to accept who they were and feel right in their own skin if I was repeatedly describing my own heart as 'flawed’?

But for a long time, I still didn’t do anything. I finally put a tiny 'aromantic pride’ button on my tumblr, like I hoped no one would notice, but how could I say I had pride when my Tumblr description still said 'my heart is flawed’?

So I finally changed it. Today. It might not seem like a big deal, but it’s a big deal to me.

I’ve told several friends and they’re very supportive, even if some of them don’t understand. But this is okay, because I have enough things stacked against me without me calling a part of me 'flawed’.

I will never 'love’ myself. But that’s the point. I don’t have to because I don’t feel love and that’s okay. I can like myself and I can be content that just because I’m not like other people doesn’t mean that I’m not a complete, healthy, happy man.

I am not broken. My heart is not flawed. I’m just aromantic.

You are not broken or flawed. You are just free, in a way that few of us are. You are a strong, sensitive, caring, passionate human being who truly respects women. In my opinion, the romantically “normal” men who wander around treating women badly are the ones whose hearts are flawed. Not you. You’re awesome. And I’m glad you’re finally starting to understand this.

Tags: romance short
Reposted fromrainstormdragon rainstormdragon

March 28 2015

aren
01:26

December 17 2014

17:37

To the one who loves her next,

She’s terrified of spiders. So when you’re out late with friends and she texts you freaking out because there’s one on her window, please go kill it. She won’t sleep otherwise.

She is a total textbook introvert. She won’t reply for hours and sometimes you won’t see her for a week. You will take this personally. Don’t. She’s simply taking care of herself and she’ll tell you how much she missed you while she was away.

She’ll get very jealous. My god, she gets so jealous. Those brown eyes will turn a deep green. She hates that about herself, and she doesn’t mean to do it. Remember, she loves you. Reassure her that you love her too.

On that topic, she needs constant reassurance. Tell her you love her and mean it. If you can’t do that, leave. She deserves more than that.

There will be nights when she goes out and drinks a little too much. She’ll call you to bring her home. When you do, she’ll try to keep you up all night by tickling you and repeating “I love you and I’m sorry I’m annoying.” She’s not annoying. But make sure she has plenty of water and don’t let her pass out until she drinks it, or she will be miserable in the morning.

She is the most independent woman I know. But she’s so insecure, it still breaks my heart. So when she starts an argument with “you don’t love me.” Do not get upset. Remind her you do and the reasons why. She’ll come around.

The cat comes first. Always. Don’t ever think otherwise.

Make her tea and remember the way she takes her coffee. She will notice.

When she’s having an anxiety attack, wrap her up in your arms and rub her back. Tell her she’s safe and remind her that she has medication if she needs it.

If you cannot treat her like royalty, let someone else. That girl deserves the world.

Losing her is a pain you will never shake. Your world will come crashing down on you and those pieces won’t ever fit the way they used to. Don’t let her go.

She will love you with all she’s got. Please give her the same.
I am begging you to not hurt her. She is golden. Don’t let that shine die out.

Give her your all and she’ll return the favor. You will never have to ask the universe for anything ever again.

Sincerely, a name you’ll hear in passing. (via flashoflife)

❤️❤️❤️❤️

(via allaboutchaych)

This is so fucking beautiful.

Tags: romance
Reposted fromkatewils katewils viaDietz Dietz

October 16 2014

aren
06:23

madamisahumourist:

iburisu:

dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.

Tags: romance

July 29 2014

aren
14:18

May 27 2014

aren
20:21
Tags: romance idea

May 22 2014

04:51
8736 d52f 390
Tags: romance fun
Reposted fromPandaladie Pandaladie via1911 1911

May 18 2014

aren
17:27

April 16 2014

aren
12:42
Tags: romance short
Reposted fromNaitlisz Naitlisz viaszara szara

April 14 2014

04:24

March 30 2014

aren
14:26
Reposted fromthatsridicarus thatsridicarus viazupka zupka

February 27 2014

aren
20:06

February 06 2014

aren
22:21
First crush by Isaia
Reposted bylordminxmarbeardanielbohrer

January 29 2014

aren
09:59

thedarksideofnerd:

themilsonetwork:

  • Open when you need to know how much I love you
  • Open when you’re mad at me
  • Open when you miss me
  • Open when you’re lonely
  • Open when you’re happy
  • Open when you’ve had a long day
  • Open when you’ve had a bad day
  • Open when you’re sick
  • Open when you’ve left me after visiting
  • Open when you can’t sleep
  • Open when you’re horny
  • Open when you’re imagining our future
  • Open when we can’t communicate with each other
  • Open when you need a reminder of all the things I love about you
  • Open when you need motivation/encouragement.
  • Open when you need to laugh.
  • Open when you’re bored.
  • Open when we’re fighting (and it’s you’re fault)
  • Open when we’re fighting (and it’s my fault)
  • Open when you need a kiss
  • Open when you wanna hear me ROAR!!!!
I think this is a rather cutie idea for a long distance relationship or any relationship really.
via ;; you're gonna rattle the stars, you are.
Tags: romance idea
Reposted fromlordminx lordminx viagehirnfasching gehirnfasching

January 23 2014

22:49
5195 5109 390
Reposted fromekelias ekelias viaaranjaeger aranjaeger

January 18 2014

18:51

fireyturtle:

nicelanderenzeru:

ruraljackdaw:

Hugging shorter people and resting your head on theirs

image

Hugging taller people and having your head against their chest

image

Hugging people your height and pressing your face against their shoulder

image

Hugging people and getting picked up by them

image

HUGGING

image

Not having people to hug

image

Giving a hug that comes off as weird

image

This post describes me in every way

Tags: fun romance
Reposted fromviirus viirus viaTokyoMEWS TokyoMEWS

January 11 2014

aren
21:55

kaorux:

I have put together a few of the posts where people have been incredibly smooth

January 09 2014

aren
16:54
4023 10e1 390
Tags: romance short
Reposted fromkochamkotyxd kochamkotyxd viabradypus bradypus

January 08 2014

aren
08:04
7719 802a
Tags: romance anigif
Reposted fromsosna sosna viaawezone awezone

December 29 2013

09:34
4552 e195 390

kaorux:

I have put together a few of the posts where people have been incredibly smooth

Tags: romance quote
Reposted fromnowherextohide nowherextohide
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